you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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