I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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