You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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