Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
they're like a gay fantastic four
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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