turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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