how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize