Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
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Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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