No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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