This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize