I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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