I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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