I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize