can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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