mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize