Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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