Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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