I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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