Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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