I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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