New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize