But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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