I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
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i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
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You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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