I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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