i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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