does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize