are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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