Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize