First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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