I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
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I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
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Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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