I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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