Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize