I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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