Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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