once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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