handjob tips. give me some.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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