he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
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When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I wear drunk well.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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