I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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