Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
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I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
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I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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