He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
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Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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