Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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