He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
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Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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