see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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