Sry I called you an 8
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
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