i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
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