I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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