I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
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I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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