she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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