its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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