Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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