I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize